Scary Fragile
by ICan'tMakeMe
Summary: A continuation of Callie and Arizona's trip to the beach in episode 9x12. Just very fluffy and sentimental.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. All credit to Shonda. All characters belong to her, and to the show _Grey's Anatomy_, and certainly not to me.**

**Reviews very welcome, as always (:**

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"This really kinda works," Callie sighed as she lay with her wife, her brain threatening to carry her off to sleep.

"Mmm. I know what you mean. Owen was totally right. I haven't felt this good at night, well, since..." Arizona blushed, not that Callie could tell, recalling the last time they had tried to be intimate with each other again.

While Arizona had still felt uncomfortable with sex, they had regained some of their initial passion; both feeling as though a step had been taken in the right direction when it came to fully healing their relationship.

"Hmmm. Well if you're feeling that good, I definitely don't want you talking about Owen," Callie mumbled into Arizona's ear, "I hear lots of people get up to all sort of things at the beach. With... differing levels of success."

Callie chuckled, remembering poor Bailey's recount of her experiences on her honeymoon. "Could we take this back to our hotel room?"

"Callie, what?" Arizona asked, clearly very confused. "We're at home.."

"Honey, we were pretending to be at the beach. I was trying to, I don't know, be spontaneous? Or... Maybe sexy?"

"Oh. Well. Oops. Sorry," Arizona giggled, "I didn't mean to ruin a perfectly good trip to the beach. If it helps, though, you never need to try and be any more sexy," pausing to lean over and nip her wife's earlobe, Arizona continued, softly whispering; "I don't think I could handle it."

"Oh? Is that so?"

With Owen and Bailey long forgotten, Callie reached over to capture her wife's lips in a soft, yet potently suggestive kiss, requesting entrance into her mouth while readjusting so her body lay over Arizona's. Recognising that her previous anger at Dr. Cahill had translated into passion that was making her move considerably faster than she would under normal circumstances, Callie considered slowing down, but something about Arizona's earlier comment boosted her self confidence in continuing the kiss.

Arizona, while not expecting Callie to move so fast, especially after all she had been doing to try and make sure she felt comfortable, safe and ready again, wasn't complaining about the new change of pace. Sometimes surprises were good, and this one was certainly very welcome.

Heating up their kiss by letting her hands wander up the back of Callie's shirt, she paused. Something that had been niggling at the back of her mind was finally getting the better of her, and she had to know.

Pulling away, she asked, "honey, have you, um, have you been working out?"

This time it was Callie's turn to blush.

"Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, Mark had all this equipment in his apartment and when I couldn't sleep after getting Sof up I sometimes... I don't know. Do you, uh, do you like it?"

"Do I like it? Really? God Calliope, have you no idea what you do to me? Turn the light on, I need to see this!"

"What? No, don't be ridiculous."

"I'm serious Callie! Light on, shirt off!"

While Arizona had seen her wife in varying levels of nakedness since the accident, she hadn't been paying enough attention to notice the little differences in her appearance.

"Arizona, I'm not taking my shirt off. This is stupid."

"Oh. You're not? Okay. That's fine. I only wanted to be able to see as I ran my hands up your back, and maybe over your stomach, all the way up t-"

Arizona's teasing was interrupted by Callie's rushed and slightly violent removal of her shirt, flinging it across the room in haste.

"H-wohw" was Arizona's only response as her eyes fell upon the toned arms and stomach of her wife.

"How could you not have told me you were working out?"

"Well, I mean, I'm not really any more. Not since I've been home, anyway."

"Well, I am most Definitely enjoying this," Arizona whispered, leaning into Callie and wrapping her arms around her neck as she re-kindled their earlier kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

Moaning between kisses, Callie tried to speak, with little success. "Mmmm...honey...babe...just hold on...a sec...okay?" Pulling away slightly, Callie sighed. "We should stop."

"Wh-whyy?" Arizona whined in response, cross that Callie was interrupting her while she was so incredibly turned on. "If you're tired I have a sure-fire way of waking you up?"

While Callie would have wanted nothing more than to resume their earlier activity and do all the things she had been dreaming of to her ridiculously hot wife, Arizona came first, and there was no way she was rushing into anything.

Clueing in, better late than never, Arizona blinked in realisation. "You're worried about me."

"Well, yeah, I mean, I don't want to rush into anything with you. I don't want to push you."

"If this is because you're scared, then we can wait, but if you really are only worried about whether I'm okay with this, trust me, I am."

"I'm not scared, Arizona, I Love you. I always Have loved you. There's no room in my heart for scared."

"Then dear God, stop talking and come here." Pulling her wife in for a searing kiss, she felt Callie shiver against her. Taking that as a sign of great encouragement, she reached for the hem of her own shirt, shedding the extra clothing separating them. Feeling Callie thread her hands through her hair and move down to work on her neck, Arizona threw her head back and reached up for the strap of Callie's bra. There was no need for extra clothing at this point.

Feeling Arizona shed her of her bra, Callie slowed. The natural progression of things dictated that Arizona's pants were the next to go, and Callie worried that it would be too much too fast if she were to orchestrate that move. Instead, deciding to change things up a little, (because who's not up for a little change, right? Things were already pretty different) she slid her hand down Arizona's chest, loosened her belt and pushed her pants down ever-so-slightly, and... Paused. Rolling off Arizona and onto the bed next to her she let out a full bellied laugh. Arizona was wearing her 'sexy underwear;' the underwear Callie bought her last Valentine's Day, and Arizona Never wore that pair when it wasn't a special occasion. "Really, honey? When were you going to tell me this was secretly your plan for tonight?"

Blushing as she realised her wife was unabashedly laughing at her, she felt a bloom of embarrassed anger sitting in the pit of her chest. "For your information I was out of clean underwear. These were the only ones left."

"Honey, I know that's not true! You have a whole drawer of clean underwear! I know because I did all the washing this week to give you a break! Why are you lying."

"I...I, uh, I"

Softening at her wife's adorable blushing, she asked again "why? Why today?"

"I wear them as often as I can. There. Fine. I wear them just in case we get here and I feel ready. I want to be there for you, and when it's all theoretical and in my head I'm ready, an I want this, but in the moment I psych myself out. So I've had them on a lot, lately, okay? Just. Now's the first time you've noticed... The first time I've let you notice."

Leaning in for a chaste kiss, Callie whispered a barely recognisable "I love you" through her tears.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey guys. I really don't have an excuse for not updating this more often, but it's something I like to lose myself in from time to time and if I ever write anything I feel is worth sharing I always try and get it up. I hope you like this little bit, it was just supposed to capture some if what I feel would be going on in Arizona's head (admittedly through my complete lack of experience, so please don't be offended if my imagination is horribly inaccurate).**_

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Seeing her wife so affected by such a relatively small and inconsequential sign of affection made Arizona feel overwhelmingly guilty. Wearing nice underwear should just be something her wife could take for granted. She felt like a parasite. A horrible heaving mass of the most unpleasant nature, sucking everything around her dry for no measurable benefit what-so-ever. It made her sick that she could have broken a part of her wife. Who was she to be able to break something so precious and perfect? It wasn't fair, and Callie deserved so much better, but nothing she could think of would make it easy for her to tell her to leave. She didn't Want Callie to go, but she was breaking her, slowly and painfully, and she couldn't bear to see herself hurt Callie any more.  
To watch yourself break apart the love of your life must be the most cruel of tortures, but she was helpless to be able to protect Callie from herself. The rational part of her mind watched on in terror as she spat such words of hatred at her wife. It sat on in silence as she saw herself flood that perfect face with tears, and it did nothing but fuel the fires of hatred now rooted deep within her heart.  
Arizona hated herself. So vehemently that causing herself pain through Callie served as a punishment and an inevitably cruel irony, but she couldn't stop. The thought of Callie leaving her was pounded into her skull with every stone cold glare or spiteful jab she made at her wife, but while it was certainly a concept that made her want to scream out in agony, it brought with it the smallest pinch of clarity that seemed to make it all worthwhile. She knew there was no way she could ever make Callie happy in her home again, and she knew she could never ask her to leave, nor leave herself; it was too great a task. But each time she could say a nasty word, or give a cold shoulder, she could see herself taking one more step on the path she thought was the closest to making her wife happy again.  
Tonight she had been weak. This wasn't part of the plan, but it felt SO good. It felt good, natural, to be kissing her wife. Her WIFE. The woman she vowed to spend the rest of her life trying to make happy. To let herself think that she could make Callie happy by trying to be a loving wife again seemed like such a dangerous thought, but what if it were possible. She hadn't found herself so eager to work hard than she had tonight with Callie's lips pressed against hers; and she wondered whether she could live with herself knowing that there was a piece inside the heart of her now peacefully sleeping angel that would never, and could never be mended by the same hand that broke it so carelessly in the first place.

Arizona felt her heart flutter. The demons that plagued her mind; picking holes at her insecurities and tearing gashes in her every failure hadn't won tonight. There was a love so pure and true that Callie gave to her tonight that shone light on even the thoughts that seemed most dark. The most dangerous thoughts that contained the hope of normalcy despite all that had happened throughout the past months. It all came back to Callie. Her wife. Her love. The irony seemed so clear; so very very clear; that Callie had given Arizona back her life only to find that in doing so she was forced to sacrifice part of her own in what seemed like a futile attempt to express her love each day.

Maybe it was a mix of sleep deprivation and stupidity, or early morning clarity and bravery, but as Arizona berated herself for giving up on her happiness, and especially her wife, so easily, she lifted her head to look at the beautiful woman curled up against her chest. Callie's hands were balled up in the tear stained t-shirt that hung off Arizona's frail body, her face red even still from the tears that seemed ever-present on her beautiful face. She seemed so perfectly calm in this moment that Arizona didn't want to disturb her, but she couldn't help herself, so in an act of either extreme senselessness or true courage she leaned down and pressed her lips to Callie's forehead, kissing her gently above her eyes and moving across to place delicate kisses along her temple and softly waking Callie in the process.


End file.
